Warmly Restless
by Batya000
Summary: Warmly Restless, Rushed fic, Personal fic, has nothing to do with Inuyasha, OC Centrix, Yaoi Rate T


**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Shippo's and Ranma's intellectual idea, every change exterior or interior has been morphed without intending to harm anyone. This is still only for fun and I'm not making money out of this. The characters forementioned are Rumiko Takahashi's creations.

 **AN/** Not the one I have been working on these days, this is one I started today and ended today, NO BETA, if you see any grammar, typos, mistakes then please understand, have been typing very quickly as I wanted to finish something today. This will not be revised for changes.

 **Warning:** Nothing to do with InuYasha even if Shippo's main idea is still persistent. OC centrix and characters that had been taken were seriously morphed. OOC in other words and this is a personal fic. YAOI and major trigger alert. Rate T for language and sexual implications. One-shot.

Very awkward transitions I am sorry, I can't make it better if I want to post it right now. Lacks depth, lacks story board, lacks… lacks many things, Jesus Christ! *cries*

 **Warmly Restless**

Harsh breathing and a somewhat tired smile would be the last thing this earth would remember from him, his hands sore from gripping the concrete railings, worn out shoes felt latched to the pavement as he breathed, he could see the air he exhaled and the tears started to fall when his hands gripped in resentment and bitterness the colorful Christmas' light ropes around his fingers, at least some beautifulness would be adorning the concrete bridge today, even after he jumped.

 _Don't give up; everything will be okay, especially today_.

The school blue -black backpack was still hanging on his back and he found himself unable to let go. "Not again for fuck's sake" his dried bluish lips fumed in desperation. His head lifted to watch the skies and he asked for assistance, asked for mercy, if there was someone up there, then please, he asked that divine entity to give him the strength to finally end his life.

"Agh!"

He was scared, afraid he would die, even if that's what he wanted, he felt utterly afraid of how much hurt would he still have to suffer through and today, even after the desperation held him on edge, he felt unable to let himself fall. Another useless intent, another stupid and pathetic attempt and when the self-hatred thoughts insulated once again, he sighed and jumped back to the safe side of the bridge.

 _The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it..._

With his backpack on his back, Youki decided to walk back home.

Nobody even noticed, people were respiring happiness and prosperity today, probably cooking a delicious dinner and probably wishing each other a happy and merry Christmas.

School was over for most of his classmates, except for those who didn't do as well in their last term. Youki had to go today to an improvement exam and he was irritated since he woke up this morning, to make matters worse, today was 24th of December, a day before Christmas and once again, he found himself resenting the way his life was built.

Perspiring cold sweat, he decided more self-pity would only worsen his extremely apathetic attitude. Even if his wrist clock read five in the afternoon and the skies remained in splattering pink attire, he still questioned why the trees and streets were so adorned. It almost felt like the whole society laughed at people like him; people who were utterly and completely alone on Christmas' night.

No lights, no pine tree, no stars and beautiful embellishments on the door, no green and red trimming on the frame of any window, no turkey smell at 7:00 p.m., no warm chimneys with socks on each side, not even for mockery. No gifts, no laughs, no hugs, no wishes of prosperity and more than anything, no love. His eyes lifted to the nearest advertisement board, **"Happy and Merry Christmas! This is an epoch to love and share with family and friends!"**

 _Yeah fucking right._

He hated Christmas. Every other day he could pretend to feel less lonely, but in occasions where social media reminded you how lonely you actually were, it sometimes felt enough to stop trying to cope with it.

His feet reached the neighborhood gates and with a dissatisfied sigh, he walked from the entry to the far end of his left, finally reaching his house, he sighed and fumbled with the keys that finally unlocked the door, he sighed, there was no probability he would speak about his failed attempt to finish with it all.

Without glimpsing at anything around him, he closed the door behind him and simplified to run upstairs and when he finally reached his bedroom, he made sure to close it and turn off the lights. After sighing for what seemed the trillionth time, he decided to crawl under his weighty sheets and forget about today. It was cold and probably he could sleep the rest of the day off.

Shuddering at the cold temperature even under his blankets, Youki closed his eyes and prayed to wake up at least on December 26th

OOOO

"Youki! Youki! Youki!" a not so gentle shaking made his eyes open just a bit, "Youki! Youki! Youki! Wake up!"

"Wha-" His eyes opened to meet green bright eyes filled with what seemed childish rejoice "w-what?"

"It's no time to be asleep! Youki Youki! Youki! Shippo said we would be celebrating Christmas!"

Youki sat and rubbed some sleep off his eyes, he scratched the back of his neck when he spotted Hatsune still jumping on his side, "Hatsune what the fuck?"

"Wake up!" The child yelled and then laughed, "This is the first time he says we will be celebrating it! I'm so excited."

Youki's eyes widened as his eyes spotted a tall ginger with a smeary leer on his face, "Don't be a lazy ass and help me downstairs with that faggot tree."

"w-what?"

"You heard me? Help me downstairs." With those words, the ginger left the room leaving Youki perplexed and puzzled. His eyes widened when Hatsune jumped again.

"See?! He wants to celebrate Christmas! Go downstairs help him out Youki!"

"Uh…" he was still bewildered and after trying to process it, he smiled, "Yeah sure…"

Some days and sometimes it was hard to see the people that were actually around him, sometimes it was impossible to accept. Some days it felt like a lie and others, it felt too real to even distrust. Youki breathed and berated himself for the kind of surprise he was about to give them if he were to have jumped to his death. He shook his head, the urge kept him still and he wouldn't lie. He still wished he have jumped but for some reason, Hatsune's happy hop made him change his mind.

At least just for the slightest.

Stopping only to wash his teeth; Youki made a quick hand motion to Hatsune, signalizing with an airy and still unbelieving smile to help them as well, "Hurry!"

OOOO

"Uh I… I'm sure we are not good at this."

"Ya' think?" Shippo scratched the back of his neck when half the tree resembled those office's trees with absolutely no fashion sense at all, with no good taste in Christmas decorative ornaments and what seemed lack of care, for the hour they actually spent, implied an extreme intent of making it look good. Youki snorted, "Yeah."

"Screw it, I think it looks…"

"It looks…" cringing at the tree's ugliness, Youki tried to complete.

"Perfect!" Hatsune chimed in, both jumped at the sudden appearance, and even after scolding him for scaring the hell out of them, both couldn't ignore the sincere happy face the little kid expressed when he approached the newly decorated tree. "This is the first time there is a tree in this house…" the child's arms embraced what seemed the first Christmas with two of his favorite people and though his next words were slightly slurred by his face hiding in the decorations, both elders were able to hear it loud and clear, _"I love it so much!"_

Youki smiled and turned to the eldest, "Looks cool doesn't it?"

Shippo's heart hollered and he felt a genuine feeling of happiness tugging at his lips, after a sigh, he smiled, his arm wrapped around his friend's shoulder and with a swift pull, he hugged him close to his chest "It does."

OOOO

"What the fuck! I don't even drink alcohol!" Youki's voice lowered to gossip-level whisper, his eyes were suspicious and accusing, his hand grabbed Shippo's sleeve to make sure he listened, "Nor does Hatsune! Why the fuck would you pour two beers on the fucking turkey!"

Shippo couldn't seem more annoyed, "Because fucker, it's a way to clean the fucking chicken! Else it will stink!"

"Who the fuck told you that? And it ain't chicken it's a fucking turkey!"

Shippo sighed in annoyance and poured a coke can on it, Youki followed, "What the freaking fuck!"

"Youki!" Shippo fumed warningly.

"Stop screwing the fucking turkey then!"

"Agh! No wonder you can't cook chicken for shit!"

"Oh and what the fuck does that supposed to mean?!"

"That you can't cook for shit!" Shippo's hand reached to his left, grabbed a yellow bottle and proceeded to pour on some mustard on it. Youki screeched again.

"Nor you do!" he cringed at the Turkey's strange appearance, "At least I take classes."

"Just smash the fucking potatoes and let me finish this shit up."

"If I knew you could cook I would not worry."

Shippo breathed and poured another soda can, "Shut the fuck up before I cook _you_ instead of this fucking chicken."

"It ain't chicken."

OOOO

"Okay okay! You grab me, I'll grab on Hatsune and he will finish it for us."

"No way."

"Ugh, come on it's not like I weight three hundred pounds."

Shippo laughed mockingly, "No, I'm not concerned about carrying _you_ , I'm concerned that you will not be able to carry Hatsune I'm sure."

"Bet on it!"

"No way, you lose the bet and bam! Hatsune is dead."

Youki huffed, he was having a hard time figuring out how to trim the top roof of Shippo's house, the house was finally done, the only thing left happened to be the top highest roof. Even after Shippo suggested leaving it the way it was, Youki became obdurate to the idea of leaving that roof top alone.

"Why don't we use a staircase?"

Shippo laughed in sarcasm, "Yeah because I'm stupid enough to not use the fucking staircase, oh! But oh shit! We don't have any staircase, genius."

"Jesus, chill with the hate"

"No you chill, I'm fucking done trying to decorate that fucking roof."

"Aw no," Youki complained, "Let's do as I said, carry me and I'll carry Hatsune."

"Not even if we did that we will reach it, it's so fucking tall."

"Let's go to the less tall roof, we stand on the tiles and we do as I said."

"I will fucking fall, how am I supposed to carry you without losing equilibrium in the tiles, your hips are way too wide, I will not see for shit."

Youki gasped, "Excuse you! If you are as strong as you claim to be then you should not have a fucking problem in extending your arms to carry me so I can fucking carry Hatsune up"

"As I claim to be? We are not speaking about strength we are speaking about equilibrium and either way, I will not see forwards and I'll end up falling!"

"Bullshit you are just putting up excuses not to get up your ass over there!"

Shippo snorted, "I made the fucking dinner, I am in fact, _tired_!"

"Oh? You see? We would have been done already, plus, I helped with the dinner and I'm not complaining like whinny little-"

"I'm done!"

Both lifted their gazes to the upper front, Hatsune was smiling brightly as he presumed to have fixed the inconvenience, his hands were empty now that the Christmas trimming was perfectly arranged. Adorning beautifully the top roof, the green leaves ornament was lifted beautifully lifting the roof's every-other's-day usual sighting. Hatsune jumped again to prove his point; both Youki and Shippo felt shivers running down their spine as both agreed that they only wanted one thing.

"Hatsune! Go down there! You will get hurt!"

And that was said in one voice.

OOOO

Honestly, Shippo didn't know much the exact sequence of events that should take place on Christmas Eve, he never actually celebrated it, but last year Hatsune cried until 11:00 p.m. because there was no Christmas in his home and though last year he shook it off as childlessness, he discovered he felt worse when this year Christmas Eve arrived and Hatsune didn't even ask.

Youki didn't even say Good morning before he left for school and when he came back his eyes seemed reddish enough that Shippo didn't have the guts to ask. This was Youki's first year on his house and even if he never asked Shippo, Youki was probably aware of Shippo's own apathy for Christmas. Even if Shippo knew Youki felt a sore apathy for Christmas as well, the fact that he went straight to his bedroom after school told Shippo maybe too much and maybe, just maybe it wasn't always like that.

With a heavy heart, Shippo realized there wasn't much to ask but after sighing yet again, Shippo knew there was something he, in fact, _could_ do.

When he first suggested it to Hatsune, he really didn't want to give it a chance but after all the inner battles, he did. After the cooking, the tree arrangement, the lights outside and inside, he wouldn't admit Hatsune's happy face was suddenly too priceless to admit nor he would say out loud that Youki's own genuine happiness made _him_ genuinely happy; it all seemed breathable when 10:30 p.m. hit the clock and he realized Hatsune should be asleep, but probably he would let him sleep until late, probably.

After eating and realizing they weren't the best of cooks, they decided to open bags of conventional Christmas candies and sit next to the chimney which was of course adorned in fashion-less sense of Christmas. Youki smiled when Hatsune chose the carpet to lay on. Youki's arms were hugging his own legs and his head was resting on Shippo's shoulder and for a second, they seemed like a normal family, it all felt so real, Youki exhaled in peace, he suddenly felt like the happiest man alive.

"Everything was amazing, the music, the ugly sweaters, the food was good."

Youki and Shippo cringed at Hatsune's blatant though innocent lie.

"Well, it's Christmas guys, look at the clock." Youki said happily, a warm feeling spreading on his chest when Hatsune yawned.

"Yeah! Well I guess it was amazing, I'll go to sleep."

"Er…. Yeah, uh…" Shippo gulped, "Don't go to sleep yet brat."

"Why?" Asked Hatsune as he propped his weight on his arms.

Youki moved to rest on the couch's lower fabric-covered legs just when Shippo moved, stood and disappeared on the left hall, "Gimme' a second" both Youki and Hatsune shook their shoulders without an idea of what the ginger could be doing on the sideways closet.

"I'm not an expert and this is hella' awkward because this is too cheesy to be me but hell yeah, Merry Christmas."

Both were offered a little wrapped-up present for each of them. Both gifts were being held on each of Shippo's hands, Hatsune didn't waste time in taking his and after a loud happiness yell; he thanked his big brother and proceeded to try to rip its wrapped edges.

Youki was perplexed, flabbergasted and he seemed to be paralyzed, his eyes were wide and he couldn't believe he was being handed something, by Shippo nonetheless.

"Uh…"

"Why do you have to be so fucking awkward, fuck Youki every time! Just take it god damned it."

Youki blinked and slowly took the present from Shippo's hand. He silently gasped and when he was sure it was not an illusion or a flip provoked by his ill mind, a happy beam tugged at the edge of his lips as Shippo took place by his side. "I… I'm speechless."

"Wee, Merry Christmas."

Youki's arms, even with the lack of strength, could have very much suffocated the life out of Shippo when he hugged him. "Oh my, thank you thank you thank you, that is so sweet of you!"

"Yeah yeah shut up, I hope you like it."

"Oh this reminds me of something!" Chimed in Hatsune and without even opening his present, he stood up. He ran to the kitchen and opened a cabin, both Shippo and Youki wondered what he was doing when from a cookie box; he pulled out a pair of glittery green paper cards.

Youki smiled and his heart warmed yet again. Both were handed Hatsune's handy work, one was blue and the other was green "I worked hard on this and though I was not expecting to celebrate it, I wanted to give you two these cards."

"Oh brat! This is so faggy" Shippo smiled as he took the card from Hastune's hand, Youki elbowed him on the ribs and took his own card.

"T-thank you Hatsune." He could have hugged him, but they were not on those terms, still, he promised never expect what he was accustomed to do. Youki laughed happily when Hatsune surprised him with a hug.

"Yep, I'll open my gift tomorrow, so I enjoy Christmas. Good night and Merry Christmas."

"Yeah, Christmas brat."

And with that, Hatsune ran upstairs and the door shutting off was all they heard.

…

"That brat."

"Shippo…"

"Huh?"

"I..I don't have anything to give you guys back… I-" the tears started spilling; the genuine combustive sentiments were finally dropping out of his commoved heart "I didn't know... I… I didn't think this day would be so-"

"It's all good," Shippo hugged his commotional friend, "I know you are trying and even if you could have thought about giving up, even after giving up you are still here and that's the best thing you can do for us and for you as well, if you stay here, alive, then we can't ask for anything else, so if you made it through another day, and you made it through Christmas and you made us part of your Christmas, then thank you." Shippo tightened the hug, "You made my family bigger and closer than it was, thank you"

"Oh my god Shippo…"

"The reason I never liked Christmas is because I didn't have a family to celebrate it with, it was either too incomplete or too little and now I can say I have a family on Christmas, ya know… and I think I like the feeling."

 _[shippo is the x-mas grinch but i hope santa comes this year, last time he didnt come because shippo didnt put him trees and cookies n milk, or maybe i ask for 2 many toys, my teacher said santa came when u ask for someting from the bottttom of your heart for someone special, I didnt like u youki at first…anyways my wish was for u to be happier because i have seen u cry n i dont like that and when I hid the bottles of strange pills u have in your bathroom last month u cried the entire day, my teacher say people cry when they r in pain (sorry for that i didnt want u to cry i didnt know those bottles made u happy but yeah if u take pills maybe u r sick, u have fevers too bad I guess, last time I had a flu and I felt too bad I cried, I kinda understand u) anyways I hope santa makes my wish true. happy merry xmas I think I like u… just a little bit .-Hastne]_

OOOOO

Youki looked at the clock and it was as early as 00:16, Shippo started yawning 10 minutes ago and Youki told him he would clean it up for him and that he should give it a rest. Shippo thanked him and yawned yet again, "We will go somewhere out of town tomorrow, I'll make an exception and I'll wake you up at 6:00 a.m. it's gonna be a nice Christmas, you'll see"

"It already is."

Shippo smiled, "Can't agree with me once, can you?"

Youki moved his head in negative as he started cleaning. "Nope, Goodnight."

"Night…"

10 minutes into cleaning and when he was done, he jumped when the door was knocked. He watched suspiciously at his wrist clock and realized it was around 00:28, he approached the door and pulled it open. _Who on earth?_

"If the mountain won come to you, you go to the mountain."

"Ranma?!"

"Well, I wanted to celebrate 12 O'clock with you, so when I realized you ignored my invitation to depart at my house I went out of my house to go to yours."

"W-what?"

Ranma stepped in and Youki realized the bluish of Ranma's lips wouldn't hide the fact that he had been out for more than one hour, he looked behind him, squarely at the postal box and then back at Ranma. "Invitation?"

"Yeah, you, the annoying kid and Shippo, but you didn't come so I went outside my house around 11:30, I was hoping to reach you on time but I guess the snow is somewhat too hard to step on. I also messaged you on the morning to confirm if you were all going…"

Youki still perplexed eyes filled with tears when he realized his lover spent Christmas' hour outside, only because he wanted to depart that hour with him. "Oh, lord, Ranma! I'm so sorry." His arms wrapped around Ranma's cold body, kisses were warmly endowed to his face and Youki continued "Oh I thought you would be with your family, I am so sorry, I screwed up so bad."

Ranma hugged him back and lifted him slightly, his arms warming the thin figure between them, "Without you? No way, that's not Christmas and don't worry, I wished my father a Merry Christmas; he is with the Tendo's anyways, so I have no guilty-mind for leaving. I also wanted you to be mine tonight so…"

Youki blushed, "W-what?"

"Well, you ignored the invitation I made, I was also planning in making it soft and slow, but fuck you, I'll get rough. Take off your clothes. But before-" Ranma reached for his own pocket and with a smile, he elevated a mistletoe between them, "Now kiss me."

"W-what?" Youki's red blush expanded all over his face and without processing any other second, his lips were warmly sealed in a soft lip-lock that only lasted a couple of seconds until Ranma pulled off. Youki smiled, "Oh…" he blushed yet again, "That was cute."

"I wanted to do that so much since I saw it in a movie, now again, fuck you and take your clothes off."

"B-but-" puzzled at his lover's mood changes, Youki dissented. "we can't"

"Now."

"Ranma its freezing and Shippo and Hatsune are sleeping, and I swear I am sorry I didn't check the postal bo-"

"Don't worry I forgive you, but you'll have to take your clothes off."

"Ranma its freezing I told yo-"

"I'll keep you warm; I swear to make you sweat." Even after he still protested, he smiled; Ranma's eyes were holding no grudges whatsoever, though his tone remained serious, he could see the contentment inside his blue eyes. Youki arms wrapped around Ranma's neck and grinned happily, "Alright, "but let's take it to my bedroom."

Ranma smirked, "Nope," his now heated lips pressed against his boyfriend's and he sighed at the newly found warmth, "the carpet in front of the chimney, turn off the lights and keep the fire on, literally."

"No way," Youki breathed quietly as he was pressed against Ranma, "We'll wake them up." The whisper was drawn hotly against their almost pressing lips.

"We are farther from them than we can be in your bedroom, plus, you owe me something for not going."

"Seems fair."

OOOO

Youki was impressed; he could see his ghost of yesterday, with weary dark circles under his eyes, with a blue-black backpack hanging loosely on his shoulders, with a frozen tear on his cheek and no will to live any other second in this world.

Sometimes you urge the world to give you the answers, and sometimes it seems it's helpless to even have a will to recover. He was aware the way he changed his mind was terrifying. Just yesterday he was walking towards his death and now he was driving on the backseat of Shippo's car with the love of his life hugging him close, Hatsune asleep on Shippo's side and his best friend singing to every tune that the radio threw at him.

Perspectives changed with time and he now understood nothing was as it seemed, specifically when it seemed frightening or terrifying. As he drove past the bridge he was about to jump just yesterday, he sighed, he saw himself walking directly to his death but he reminded himself, _I did not give up._

And when he made eye-contact with his ghost, he smiled at him and reassured, _don't give up, everything will be okay, especially today_. Reality snapped him back when Ranma hugged him tighter and his own hand went to the necklace his lover gave him as a Christmas present just after he finished loving him the night before. His eyes landed on the bracelet his best friend gave him and he snorted, just how gay both thought he was? Anyways, they were surprisingly accurate.

And surprisingly real.

His eyes fixated on the Christmas advertisement that seemed unfair just yesterday, **"Happy and Merry Christmas! This is an epoch to love and share with family and friends!"** he finally understood, _the emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it..._

His ghost didn't jump _._

He saw himself jumping to the safe side of the bridge, Youki finally closed his eyes, one never knows what can be the next best thing that can happen to you, and he truly needed to remind himself that more often. He finally felt ready to forgive himself, he reassured, his ghost was about to live the best day of his life. He was sure.

Because there would be lights, there would be a pine tree, some stars and a beautiful embellishment on the door, there would be a green and red trimming on the frame of every window, there would be turkey smell at 7:00 p.m., there would be a warm chimney with socks on each side, and it would also witness the most loving sex scene in this entire world. There would be gifts, there would be laughs, there would be hugs, there would be wishes of prosperity and more than anything, there would be love.

His eyes lifted and the only thing he wished he could tell his ghost was to hurry and purchase something nice for his beloved ones.

OOOO

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 **AN/** Too early to even speak about Christmas, whatever, I wanted to share this because I think I'm stuck with the whole major fluff fic I have been working on, it's because it's fluff and rate M is way longer and more idiotic, I meant complicated. Plus I had two fics ready and I had to pick between that one and this one. Ugh I re-read this one quickly and the transitions are so fucking awkward! I'm having troubles with that. I am sorry, I'll try to make it better for the longer fluff I have.

Last arcade of this story was a metaphor, idiot. Didn't get it, screw you. Okay so this fic was not meant to be romance, you know? But Ranma needed to be added and his romance as well.

See ya (if I procrastinate my fluff story then I'll keep shitposting random stories :D)


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